Love is Eternal

In chapter six of  The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work  by John Gottman, the author talks about “bids” for each other’s attention.  He says, “real life romance is kept alive each time you let your spouse know he or she if valued…[this is done through] ”bids” for each other’s attention, affection, humor, or support…The partner responds to each bid either by turning toward the spouse or turning away.”  These bids can be as simple as a pat on the arm or a hug when comfort is needed, or a back rub after a hard day, or looking at your spouse attentively when they talk to you.   I like the idea that Gottman shares about how every time we turn toward each other it is like putting funds into an emotional bank account, kind of like a savings bank. He also describes these bids as a snowball rolling downhill that start small and grow bigger as they continue to roll and accumulate more snow.  I figure I can use all the savings that I can get so I need...

President Ezra Taft Benson, one of the prophets for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints explained that because we make sacred covenants in the temple not to reveal what we have learned in the temple we are often afraid to share anything about the temple to those who may have questions.   In his First Presidency message printed in the April 1986 Liahona magazine he gives suggestions about what he hopes all parents would teach their children about the temple. When we moved to the Tri-Cities in the southeast corner of Washington there was no temple and we had to travel four hours one way to go to the Seattle Temple.   (I know there are many world-wide who have farther to go than this, so I am not complaining.)   When Gordon B. Hinckley announced they were going to build a temple here we were literally jumping up and down and clapping in the chapel.   I was determined to help my children learn how important this temple was to our family.   As soon as...

They tell you that marriage is a sacrifice and that it will be worth it.  I don’t know who they are, but they are right.  This post will be extremely personal to me, but it is what is in my thoughts and heart today.  As I concluded my sophomore year in college and was heading home to California I was excited at the prospect of preparing for a mission.  My brother is two years younger than I so we would be going out at the same time.  I asked my dad about whether this would be a hardship for the family and he had assured me that it would not.  I still prayed beforehand about going on a mission and had not received a confirmation about that but I knew it was a good thing to do so continued to prepare for that event.   In those days a language test was done to see what your capabilities were to learning a foreign language were.  A perfect score was 185.  Three of us took the test together.  One young man got 98 and he went to Geor...

          The introduction to his book sets the stage for understanding the book  Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage.   Goddard shares that most marriage counseling is about learning to share faults in a constructive way but according to the author there is a better way.  He shares that applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ is the key to all relationships.  “When we are reconciled to God, we are reconciled to each other.”  We need to be a God-seeking person and to put off the natural man as we work out our relationships with our spouses.  When we work toward being Godly we are more likely to process any problems in a more helpful way.  Goddard shares the scripture Mosiah 3:19 with emphasis added.  “God offers just one single escape clause from our desperate mortal, fallen situation: "For the natural [spouse] is an enemy to God [and his or her partner], and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever,...